Someone Very Special

by Gayle Stever

I have not been prepared for how deeply affected I have been by the loss of my dear friend René Auberjonois (and also in September, the loss of my other friend Aron Eisenberg). We live in a mediated world. We meet people through media, we interact through media. I only saw these two men once a year, if that. But I saw them on social media every day.

In addition, when I was writing my first book on the Psychology of Celebrity, each of these friends was generous in giving me really wonderful and deeply thoughtful interviews about the effects of celebrity on their lives. I think part of what I find so shocking is that I interviewed six celebrities for that book (all Star Trek actors) and now two of them are…. gone.

They were there when I needed to ask them for help with my book. They were always there for other things like providing inspiration or just being a friendly and kind person on any given day when we happened to interact. That is no small thing or to be taken for granted. I realize with their passing the huge impact that social media has on my life, because they were, of late, part of my social media world. René was on Twitter and Instagram, while Aron was on Facebook quite a lot….and I saw him there daily. I would see René’s Tweets when I would log into Twitter maybe once or twice a week. Occasionally we would e-mail. I would send him recent pictures of my granddaughter and he would agree with me that grandchildren are the last great loves our lives! I found his last e-mail to me and those words were there as they often were whenever we would talk about grandchildren.

I have a fond memory that involved both Aron and René. In 2001, I received an e-mail from Jackie Edwards who was working on a charity event with Robert Beltran, for the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles (DSALA). They wanted to broaden the base of stars backing this event by inviting actors from other Star Trek shows (besides Voyager, which Beltran starred in). Jackie had gotten my name as someone who could connect her with the two DS9 actors they wanted, René Auberjonois and Aron Eisenberg. They wanted Aron because he had guest starred on Voyager while they specifically requested Rene because of his friendship with Ethan Phillips from Benson days. I remember that I e-mailed them both and within the hour had a confirmation from both that they would be delighted to attend the benefit.

Aron and René appeared on stage together that day. I remember them talking about the fact that they had never appeared on stage together at a convention before. It was really a fun juxtaposition as with Rene being among the tallest members of the cast and Aron the shortest, they looked a bit like the proverbial Mutt and Jeff on stage together. They went through a series of shenanigans and antics relative to their height disparity as I recall. It was fun!

While we were walking to the stage and waiting for them to go on, I recounted to René the story of the first time I had seen him at a convention back in 1993. The show (DS9) had just started, and René was filling in at the Creation Grand Slam in Pasadena. He was wonderful and I remember remarking to my brother that he seemed really nice and I hoped I would be able to meet him some day. At this point in my story René turned to me and said, “And now you are one of my dearest friends!” I have never forgotten that moment. It personified the heart of who René was…. a generous and wonderful friend who always reminded you how much you meant to him.

Over the years I worked at many conventions and charity events with René. We raised many dollars together (as did his fan club head, Marguerite Krause), most of them for Doctors Without Borders. In fact, the DS9 cast members, in a period of years from 1994 to 2003, raised over $350,000 for charity and René and Aron (and also Siddig, Armin, Nana, Andy, Chase, Max) were a huge part of that.

The other fond memory I have of that DSALA event was when we set up our autograph table and Wil Wheaton was setting up next to us. I told René that Wil was my favorite actor from TNG. René sat next to me and then barked very loudly, “Wil!” Wil came running over and René said, “Get in this picture!” Wil complied and the photo I am posting here with this memory was the result. What a kind thing for René to do! He always “got” the fan stuff…who we liked on the shows, who our favorites were, why we liked Star Trek, which René referred to as our modern mythology.

I’m hoping to write some more memories of the 25 years I knew René, but this one from DSALA is probably the favorite one I have. It was 18 years ago, but you can see how much detail I remember from that day…in addition to what I’ve already shared, René introduced me to Brent Spiner that day, the only time I’ve ever met him (which amused René as he was sure I’d already “met everyone!”)

I am already missing René’s presence in the world more than I could have dreamed I would. I see from the posts of others that I’m not the only one. He was someone very special.